By Savvy Kenya
If you are a Kenyan and haven’t heard of Chips Funga, then you are a lost cause and need to crawl out of that rock you’ve been living under. Let me try and elaborate.
Chips funga comes from the words: chips takeaway. You know when you go to a fast food spot and you don’t want to eat there, so you ask for takeaway to go eat at home. In Swahili/Sheng, it’s called chips funga. So to chips funga means, in simple terms means to take someone home for the night. Most of the time its a stranger and no, not to give them shelter, but to have a one night stand.
I know some friends of mine who have been chipoed (chipoed is the past tense for ‘to chips’), and they know that the person taking them home is only interested in one night and one night ONLY!!! You only exchange numbers if the sex was good and wouldn’t mind having a similar arrangement in the near future with no emotions attached.
As you have already guessed, most people are chipoed at the club, where alcohol has taken over the decision making process and diminished brain cells. Think about it, no one in their right mind would take a stranger home unless their inhibitions are lowered by large amounts of alcohol and an ounce of loneliness (me thinks!) Sometimes close friends do chips funga each other to make life easier or
complicated however you look at it.
Chipoes (those who have been chipoed) are not meant to sleep over… but if they must, they should not
EVER expect breakfast in bed. As a matter of fact, rules of the game dictate that when the one who fungad them wakes up, they should have left. However, there are special cases of chips funga: (Thanks to @switcheeks for some of these categories!)
Regular: this is your fallback friend with benefits. If you aren’t lucky that night, you can call them and be sure to get some. Sometimes they can come over for the weekend and on Sunday evening you give them a push to the bus stop so they can take the bus home.
Corporate funga: this is chips funga that occurs during the weekday.
Sausage/kebab funga: this is when the guy is the one being chipoed. *symbolism in sausage/kebab*
Chips funga and the Walk of Shame are closely associated. You know that morning after when you ‘the chipo’ have to leave with last night’s cute outfit that took you two hours to pick out. So you leave hoping you don’t run into anyone from last night. This can be avoided by carrying one of those big handbags that carry everything, including a quick change of clothes. Switcheeks calls them Chips Funga bags/fornication bags.
P.S. This was added later. I was corrected that Chips Funga can occur even in sober situations. Hey even sober people got to eat too!
Until next time….
Catch more of her writings at her blog, The Diary of A Kenyan Campus Girl