Many people have drilled into thinking that in a relationship, saying “YES” is better than handing your lover a solid “NO”.
Boundaries in a relationship are crucial and understanding how to set them up is even more important. Having the confidence to say “no” to another is one important aspect of creating boundaries, but it begins by knowing what you do and don’t want.
A lot of people find themselves doing things they don’t enjoy, or not interested in because of the inability of saying no. Saying yes all the time when you don’t really mean it can actually backfire and damage your relationship.
Here’s how you can learn to say no in a relationship
1. Acknowledge the wish
Make it clear you understand what your partner wants. This way, your lover will see that you got what was requested.
2. Make a clear statement
Don’t hint but rather make a clear statement. Don’t say “I don’t think I’d want to do that”. Instead, be more direct, “I don’t want to go shopping now because I’m sleepy. Let’s do it tomorrow.”
3. Say something positive
Remember, saying no is not a bad thing but how you say it determines everything. If you are not interested in having sex, give your husband a no but assure him that you’ll have it at a later time.
4. Let the person you are talking to have their reaction
Don’t just say no and walk away. Listen to what your partner has to say so that you can come to an understanding.
Saying no might seem like taking a negative stance. But it’s actually a good thing for you, your partner and your relationship.