Ways to Stop Seeking External Validation

One wise person once told me, “You can only achieve real freedom the minute you free yourself from people “. This sent me thinking what did he really mean? See to me I didn’t think other people influenced or even worse had a hold of me in any way.

I think this guy read through my eyes and he could see the offense I took at his remarks and so he decided to explain his statement. Let me back up a little, this was back in 2019 when my “world “came crashing down. I had just lost everything I held dear, a man I adored, had quit a job that once gave me rank, material possessions that brought comfort and reaffirmed the work I put in and all the friends who I thought would be there had also dumped me.

I hope this prelude paints the picture of where I was and how much I needed a savior. I reached out to my last result and to my surprise they made it clear that just like the “world “they didn’t approve of me. Why lie, this crushed the remaining life out of me. However, it set me out on a journey of self-discovery thanks to this wise man who triggered a lot of self-introspection and much-needed change.

If you were to be honest with yourself, would you say your life and decisions are independent of others? If you are like I was, then today is your lucky day because below are some wisdom nuggets that can help you find freedom from the yokes of validation.

Stop expecting a star every time you do good

We live in a broken world with broken people who may not applaud you despite your effort. Be your own cheerleader.

Define your own success

Success is different for everyone and this is what makes us all unique. To others, it may material possessions while to others it’s the fulfillment of a goal. Don’t let another person dictate what that should look like for you. Run your own race.

Identify your purpose and pursue it

Most of life’s problems can be cured by purpose. It keeps you from being distracted by others and their thoughts about you and how you ought to live.  What they hold is just an opinion, treat it just like that.

Finally, and most importantly, seek God. He created you and who better to give you the blueprint of your life. Go forth and break free from the prison you didn’t know you were in.

Am a Writer & Entrepreneur. Passionate about life and good food! Email:karanjabrenda@gmail.com